I have not taken any of these personal, so please know this is all in jest. Here is my list of 6 “mistakes” I have made with my boys:
Mistake 1: Not enough tummy time. Tummy time. Its ALL about tummy time in the first six months of a baby’s life. All the experts say that it is soooo important for your baby to have tummy time. But when your baby is 3 months old, and all that he does during tummy time is cry and face plant directly into the carpet for 20 minutes, I say tummy time is not that important. This is how it was with my first son. We tried to do tummy time. Everyone told us it was critical to his development. But after an episode like I described earlier, I decided it wasn’t that important for him. I started looking at the body mechanics of it all, and decided that the size of his head and the smallness of his neck made it mechanically impossible for tummy time to succeed. So, I nixed it.
Mistake 2: All babies must learn to crawl. Since belly time didn’t go well with my first son, I decided to not be so hopeful on crawling either. And he never did crawl. This is another aspect of my kid’s development that supported the “his head is too big for his skinny little baby neck to support” theory of mine. But the little guy still got around. He figured out a way to use his arms and legs to “booty scoot” everywhere! And don’t worry. He learned to walk as well. And jump, and skip, and hop, and dance. Lack of tummy time and crawling doesn’t seem to have had an affect his physical development.
Mistake 3: No pacifier past a year old. It will affect their speech! I was told this from many people. But both my boys kept theirs well past one. The older one seems to have ended up ok, but I may be messing up the second one. But so far he seems to be talking like all the other two year olds around.
Mistake 4: Never let your baby sleep with you. Says the person who doesn’t have a four month old screaming at 11pm and won’t go back to sleep unless they’re in your arms. Getting my second son to sleep through the night was nearly impossible until he was almost 18 months old. It started at birth when my milk didn’t come in, and his tongue being tied down. Once we passed that hurdle he started sleeping pretty well. But suddenly at four months he would no longer sleep unless he was next to me. Little did we know that he had four teeth all coming in at the same time. I should have had a clue, as he used me for a chew toy for a week straight.
Mistake 5: Make sure they dress appropriate for the weather. I say pick your battles. My eldest loves wearing shorts. In the rain. In 45 degree weather. If I can actually convince him to wear long pants, then he compliments it with a spring jacket, in 30 degree weather. My younger son’s mantra is the less clothing the better. So if I can get them to wear jackets, you know I’m not getting them to wear hats. But its ok. There are more important things for me to insist on (like how they treat others). Plus, I’ve learned one way to get my boys to bundle up. If Daddy wears it then, so will they. So really my husband just needs to decide to wear a jacket and a hat.
Mistake 6: Keep a newborn inside for the first 6 weeks. I was at WalMart returning some stuff when my youngest was only about two weeks old. While waiting in line, a lady in front of me turned around and asked how old he was. When I told her he was two weeks old, she said “you really shouldn’t have him out. He’s ways too young!” Really? I am pretty much incapable of staying at home all day. This momma has to get out of the house! Anyways, how else is he going to build up his immunities?
So that’s my list of the ways others have let me know I am messing up my kids. I have my own personal list, but I am trying the best I know how to be a mom. Someone once told me motherhood is about grace. We are usually pretty good at handing out grace to our children, but we also need to give grace to ourselves. Motherhood is both the best and hardest role in our lives. My prayer each night is that God will make me the mother my boys need me to be. If I make a mistake, I pray this prayer again, knowing I am God’s child and he is still working on me.
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